Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm back

Thank you to Sarah for a tip for sorting out my Internet issues - which, as you can see, has worked wonderfully.

Where do I start? I would go through what I have been making but what is on my mind is how hard the past 2-3 weeks have been. My lovely pirate as been hating, hating school. Getting him there has involved all kinds of strategies - and I can't say I always spoke to him in a way I would have liked. Most of my energy has gone into working out what is going on for him, working out some remedies and finding a way to be a calm, compassionate and loving mother through it all.

Like many people I was bullied as a child and now it is happening to my little boy. He is only 5. The school have been magnificent and I can't think of another thing they could be doing - but what I have learned is that there is only so much you can do. The rest is up to the pirate. I now understand the desire to home school. I hope that I can help him work out strategies that be so useful for the rest of his life.

My pirate is not like the other boys - he is gentle, considered, proud and has an imagination that is like no other child I know. Not much good for the mainstream but likely to serve him very well as an adult.

There is a lot of time before then. I hope I can get him through without damage.


Anna said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that he (and you) are going through that. My oldest son has been picked on over the years for being different to the herd, it sucks how threatening that seems to be for some kids. I hope it dies down soon.

Bells said...

i've thought of you both a bit since you told me he was struggling. The poor little mite. I can imagine, having been where he is, that for you to watch him brings up not only your own heartache for him, but memories of your own suffering at school. I think that must make it agonising, but all the more important to help him through it.

I'm glad the school is doing well for him with help. Many of us never got that support, I'm sure.

Michelle said...

Poor pirate! Poor you! I'm glad the school is actively doing something, but it doesn't help your feelings of helplessness, I'm sure. I was bullied by both students and teachers in primary school. It's such a confusing time for a little kid.

I'll be thinking of you both!

Bec said...

So sorry to hear about the bullying issue for the pirate. Glad to hear that the school is at least being proactive about the whole thing.
No advice. Just lots of thoughts & wishes that things improve for both of you soon.

Olivia said...

Oh, poor pirate. People (kids and adults) are such sheep - why is it so terrible to be a bit different? I hope your school's efforts make some headway. It's great that they take it so seriously.

Mands said...

keep on being such a great mum (my halo slips at times too and I don't talk nicely to my prncesses at times) - I think it is becuase we can see them hurting and this hurts us and the stress just slips out in the wrong way. Don't even know if that makes sense - I'm just tryign to say don't beat yourself up - we all do it.

I hope that the issues at school sort out soon - and that the holidays put some time and distancein between so that he feels more secure going back next term. Hugs xx

dr k said...

a kind loving parent can balance out all the other evils in this world. hes lucky to have you.

Leonie said...

My eldest had the same problem earlier this year, as a preppy it's a pretty hard way to start the year. We got no help from the parents of the other child, their child could do no wrong, but the school was very helpful and in the end we concentrated on giving our child the tools he needed to cope with the bully. The knowledge that the bully was the one in the wrong, that the teachers knew there was a problem and to go to them at playtime when something happened and that no matter what we loved him and cared about what was happening to him whether he was at home or at school. By going to the teachers when he had a problem, the bully kept losing his target, the situation has improved thankfully and our son is better able to stand up for himself in a positive way. It will get better, loving him and supporting him are your best tools.