loss

We are a bit anxious and sad around here at the moment. A while back I blogged about the shawl I knitted for my sister. It turned out like this ...

Rather lovely isn't it? My sister has started her stem cell treatment and is at the stage where she is feeling the full, awful, impact of chemotherapy and should by now be starting to feel the benefits of the treatment, if it has worked. She told me the other day that the shawl has been very important to her and she couldn't imagine how she could have got through this without it.

But now she has to - because yesterday it dissappeared from her hospital room and can't be found anywhere.

There is something in a handmade gift that carries with it all the love and worry you have for a person and the loss of the shawl has had an enormous impact on all of us, escalating our grief and our anxiety. Our father anxiously called last night and asked if I find another and get it in the post NOW. All I want to do is get in a car and go and hold her tight, except I can't (the pirate has whooping cough and we both have to stay away).

If only I could make another in time, but it took weeks to make this one. Instead I'm sending the only other shawl I have, trusting it will go some way to helping, and hoping it makes it very very quickly through all this christmas mail.

creative hug

In my last post I wrote a little about my sister's battle with MS. I want to say thank you for the lovely comments. I thought I would let you know that the good news is that she does not need to find a suitable donor, that they use her own stem cells. It is an amazing things isn't it?

We won't talk about how they do it though - that bit isn't so impressive.

I asked for some suggestions on a shawl for her - and now have some great shawls in my queue! It was so hard to choose - eventually I settled on the springtime bandit.

Except, I couldn't work out how to start it.

I scanned the internet for clues and even met a knitting friend for coffee. Working together it still made no sense. I tried to fudge it.

It didn't work - see?

The peak is more like a bite. I got a few inches in and found another mistake and this settled it. I realised I needed to make this shawl with love and mindfulness and not take my usual approach of ignoring mistakes and pretending not to be bothered by them. I took it apart and went back to the research stage.

I took another hour or so looking at lots of cast ons and finally found what I needed. It wasn't quite the deal but made enough sense to help me find my way. I am much, much happier with the result.

This is such a beautiful and quick knit, and I know will be perfect. I just want to finish it before the 13th, when my sister has her appointment with the Haematologist. Whether she proceeds with the transplant or not I think she will be needing a warm wool hug from her big sister to keep close.

for more creativity head over here.